


i got intentions

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Real Person Fiction, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 09:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18313013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: I think I'm dead.Or, Irene battles.





	i got intentions

-

 

 

_i think i'm dead_

there's a giggle from the bathroom. it sounds dangerous. irene squints at the screen. wendy, she thinks. her face feels heavy. she's fallen asleep with her phone mashed to her face again.

" _ugh_ ," she groans. shifts in the bed and swings her legs over. it takes her a minute to not feel so woozy. in the dark everything seems to move around on its own.

her fingers stumble over her phone screen again. they slip and the time cruelly pops up over the screen. a few minutes after midnight. she's only been asleep for twenty minutes.

she stayed in tonight. for some pure, unadulterated alone time. she can't remember the last time she hadn't been surround by piles of people. there's something unequivocally apologetic to that aspect of her life; it's unavoidable and most of the time, between the management and the other girls, someone's always feeling sorry for that kind of infringement.

but she does remember seulgi declaring that she was staying sunmi tonight. then, in a fit of jealousy, there was joy grabbing yeri off on some _girls' night_ adventure. she can't remember if they dragged wendy along. but she does remember opting out almost immediately. i'm too old, she always says.  
then she steps into the bathroom.

"what _happened_?"

wendy is hunched over in the corner. between the toilet and the tub. she shift and curls into the tub.

"i'm dying," she moans. "literally dying. kim yerim is the anti-christ herself. or is it sooyoung? i have no idea. they both _suck_."

irene chokes on a laugh. shifts and kneels. her hand reaches out and presses into wendy's forehead. her fingers peel back a few sweaty strands of hair.

"did you drink?"

"uh-huh."

irene shakes her head. "you know you're a terrible drinker."

"not with _you_ ," wendy moans. the skin around her throat is flushed. her shirt hangs open and is sticky with sweat. 

"what do you need?" irene tries not to laugh. or to say something like 'i told you so' because every so often she has to remind wendy too. or feel guilty about reminding wendy.

"to be put out of my misery."

irene snorts. shifts to sit with wendy. she peels her off the toilet, pulling her head over her thigh. her fingers smooth over her forehead, brushing her sticky hair away from her face. she frowns. wendy squints. and they stare at her.

"i'm stupid," wendy conceedes.

"i didn't say anything." irene chokes on a laugh. "but... seungwan-ah. what about the kids?"

"i think sooyoung went to go find seulgi. and yeri either went to stop her, laugh at her, or something about chili. i honestly think they got me to drink so that they could dump me at home and go self-destruct elsewhere. who knows. i can't _think_."

irene frowns. shakes her head. makes a note to badger both yeri and joy for dragging wendy into whatever mess they are about to get into. or rather, have already gotten into.

that's the problem, she thinks. joy loves so fiercely, seulgi remains completely unaware, and yeri just feeds all the fires. usually, she and wendy manage to stay out of it. unless it escalates.

"i feel guilty."

"why?" wendy's eyes open. her hand reaches up in a dramatic fashion - trembling, wiggling. she flicks irene's nose. "i made the choice to go. so that you could have a peace of mind."

"that's why."

wendy groans and closes her eyes. her hand stretches over her face and irene bites her lip.

"yah," wendy murmurs. "it was either you or i. and i feel like you've basically taken twenty turns. it's was time i throw my hat into the ring."

"now you're being stupid."

"it's true."

"whatever." 

irene's face feels hot. she turns her head and studies some of the bathroom tiles. she's uncomfortable with the implications. she's doing what she's supposed to, she thinks. she cares about all of them. they are all her responsibility.

granted, she thinks. wendy's always been a different kind of responsibility. feelings are complicated, you know. they've danced around a lot for a number of years. have there been other people? possibly. irene knows she's looked the other way. has told herself things like: close quarters. or the best excuse, it doesn't make any sense, you and i.

but after awhile, the lines start to blue. things make more sense. and with that, starts the terrifying relationship between love and over rationalization. she doesn't want to think about it. she _hates_ thinking about it. but when it's just her and wendy, almost irreversibly like this, there's no other choice.

"do you think they're going to solve it?"

"what?" wendy groans and tilts her head back. looks at her. 

"sooyoung and seulgi." irene rubs the back of her neck. "seems like it's becoming a problem."

"oh. well, probably because seulgi doesn't take her seriously. and then sooyoung thinks of that as a challenge."

"sounds healthy," irene replies dryly.

wendy sighs. "you're drinking with her next time," she mutters. she struggles to sit up. her hand clutches her head. "she's not usually this self-destructive. i think they had an argument. but neither of them are that keen on sharing."

"they have been weirder than normal," irene agrees. reaches forward and tucks hair behind wendy's ear. her color is starting to relax. she doesn't look too much like she's dying. 

but wendy's expression shifts. turns to something a little more serious. it feels a little heavy. her hand jerks forward and clutches at irene's arm. irene moves to steady her, half-ready to turn her towards the toilet just in case.

"i understand how they feel." wendy laughs a little. "it seems like the frustration is going around."

"what?"

wendy sighs. "doesn't matter." she shifts and stumbles into standing. irene grabs her arm to steady. "can you help me to bed, at least?"

"sure."

it's hard to swallow. irene drills herself back into pragmatic mode. clutches wendy close. coos into her hair because she's pale again and really, these girls are going to make her lecture all of them later. seems like the right thing to do.

the room is dark. wendy mutters something under her breath and irene kicks on the light by the bed. she helps wendy into it. smooths her hair back and watches as she rolls onto her stomach.

"want me to stay?"

"no." wendy wrinkles her nose. "my breath is horrible. i should brush my teeth again."

"i can take you back."

"i can barely _move_."

irene finally laughs. "you should have stayed home."

"and let them do something stupid? probably." wendy's eyes close. her breathing is uneven, but she's a little more relaxed than before. "you needed a break."

and there she goes again, irene thinks. there's a sharpness in her breath. her heartbeat starts to pick up and ache. why do you get like this, she wants to ask. why make _me_ like this. and maybe, out of habits, it's her fingers that do the speaking. she rolls them gently against wendy's forehead. then her nose, her cheeks and chin. she watches a small smile flicker against wendy's mouth.

don't say anything, she thinks. please. _please._

"go to sleep joo-hyun-ah," wendy slurs. "i promise i won't vomit anymore."

she coughs. her face is hot. "whatever," she mutters.

her heart stays racing. to the point that her hand shifts and reaches, twisting in her sweatshirt. this is so dumb, she thinks. so. dumb. but her heart doesn't stop pounding.

irene misses wendy opening her eyes.

it's complicated.


End file.
